


Loud and Heavy

by FandomDarling



Series: Songs for Sy & Other Syverson Stories [2]
Category: Sand Castle (2017)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Mentions of PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomDarling/pseuds/FandomDarling
Summary: Warnings: mentions of anxiety, nightmares, implications of severe ptsd and depressive episodes.
Relationships: Captain Syverson (Sand Castle) & Reader, Captain Syverson/You
Series: Songs for Sy & Other Syverson Stories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121363
Kudos: 2





	Loud and Heavy

_“Loud thunder heavy rain Thin line between joy and pain, It’s a long strange trip it’s all insane. You ain’t never gonna be the same”_

All the darkness of his past seemed to sneak up on him when he least expected it. Everything was sunny and bright because you were there and then in a sudden his life would shrouded in storms. You’d had to leave for the weekend, some work thing that called you out of town and when you’d left Sy had assured you he’d be fine and now here he was half exhausted, unable able to sleep without you because the flashbacks were to real and the nightmares were waiting for him as soon as he closed his eyes.

These were the times his life was loud and heavy, weighing on him like a ton of bricks. He sat on the couch, willing his eyes to stay open as he sipped on yet another redbull in his desperation to stay awake, his hands shaking from the caffeine pumping through his system and anxiety thrumming under his skin. In the back of his mind, he knew he could’ve called you but the stubbornness in him didn’t want to bother him, so he waited it out. For three days, he camped out on the couch, only leaving the house to walk Aika once a day before coming back inside and resuming his position.

When you walked in the house after your trip, you could feel his anxiety. Immediately, you dropped you things at the door, stripping down to your shirt and panties before approaching the hunched form of your husband where rocked back and forth.

“Sy, baby, I’m home,” you whisper, softly waiting for him to acknowledge him before you before you touch him, knowing that could startle him. “Baby, I’m back, can you look at me? Need to make sure you’re okay?”

Slowly he lifts his head and his focus on you, “Bug?”

You nod, “It’s me, Micah.”

He lets out a wet sob that breaks your heart and reaches out for you like a child. He presses his face into your soft stomach and your rub his head soothingly, cooing reassurances at him. You feel his sobs wet your shirt, but say nothing save for the reassuring words as you stroke his shaved head.

You loose track of how long you hold him like that, but once he pulls away, you cup his face gently and straddle his thick thighs. You search his face and wipe at the tear stains on his cheeks. “Hi, baby.”

He blushes and closes his eyes, before pressing his scruffy cheek into one of your palms. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too,” you sigh, “you should’ve called me.” The words hang between you for a moment and he nods.

“Didn’t want to bother you while you were workin’,” he mutters, turning his face to kiss your palm.

“Micah Syverson, you are never a bother. Never ever. You are my world,” you say, softly as you press your forehead to his.

He swallows thickly and wraps his arms around your waist. “You’re my world too, Bug.”

“Then you gotta let me in, even when the sun isn’t shining. I’m hear for the sunshine and the storms, no matter how loud or how heavy, you’ve got me in your corner. Understood?”

“Understand, ma’am.”

You wrap your arms around his shoulder and he instinctively tucks his face into your neck. You kiss his temple, “Good, now, how about you and I take a nice relaxing bath? I can put the lavender bath salts in?”

He runs his trembling hands up your back making you shiver slightly. “I’d really like that,” he mumbles into you neck.

“Alright, while I run the bath can you go drink a nice big glass of water, I’m sure you’re dehydrated and after our bath, I’ll whip us up some chicken soup.”

“With noodles?” he asks, softly.

“If you want noodles, it’ll have noodles,” you say, slipping from his lap and grabbing his hands to tug him to his feet. He sways slightly and you wrap an arm around his waist as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Come on, Sy, lets get you to the kitchen.” You lead him to the kitchen and get him a large glass of water and smile at him as he takes a big gulp.

Sy sighs after the first sip of cold water, his thirst suddenly unbearable as he takes another sip.

“I’ll be in the bathroom, you gonna be okay?”

He nods, “I’m already feeling better.”

“Good,” you make to leave but turn back to Sy, “you know you can always talk to me about it right?”

He nods, “I know, I just don’t want to taint you.”

“Sy, you won’t. I promise, just know that I’m here and ready to listen when and ready to willing to talk to me okay?”

He nods and takes another sip before you slip away. He runs a hand over his face, feeling more and more like his usual self as your sunshine pushes back the stormclouds that have been following him for what feels like forever. For a brief moment, he thinks about the therapists card that’s tucked into the back of his wallet. He shakes his head and goes back to his glass of water and soon enough you’ve returned to usher him into the bathroom. The bathroom is cozy and warm, mirrors steamed up and Sy can already feel the tension bleeding from his shoulders as you tug on the hem of his shirt and lifting it up gently. He lift his arms and you tug it over his head and then unbutton his shorts tugging them down with his boxers before you’re kneeling and slipping his socks off one by one.

“Go ahead and get in,” you say, picking up his clothes and dropping them in the hamper as he gets in. When you return you shed your remaining clothes and step into the tub with him, settling yourself between his legs.

Sy wraps his strong arms around you and you lace your fingers with his, lifting one his hands to kiss the back of it. He hums happily, letting it rumble through his chest as his eyes fall closed and he rests his head against the towel you’d draped over the edge of the tub.

The two of you sit in silence. For a while you think that he’s asleep because his breathing is so even and steady, but he breaks the silence with a question. “Would you think less of me if I saw a therapist, Bug?” he asks in a voice so small you almost don’t recognize it.

“Not at all, Sy.”

He lets the answer settle into his skin and kisses your neck once before he leans back again and lets sleep finally take him into the darkness.

You sigh and wash the parts of him you can reach while he sleeps. You’re heart aches for him, but you wouldn’t want your life any other way. You were right where you needed to be, with who you were meant to be with. Sy’s soft snores brought a smile to your face and you settled back against his chest, closing your eyes to drift off with him. A peaceful smile on your face as you could see the rainbow breaking through the stormclouds, promising bright days ahead.


End file.
